romance bullshit.

Being in a relationship can be very rewarding. It is big! Being the centre of someone's world! It feels good, knowing that someone is always there for you, someone considers your feeling in every of his/her life's decision. Sometimes you get so caught up in this that you kinda forget that you are not the only one that is in the world. This person may or may not have someone before you, but he/she would definitely have other things beside you. Forget about the romantic notion of love in the Walt Disney films of the perfect fairy tale ending when you find love. Those are just bullshit. I find myself having a really hard time coping with the disparity between reality and romance. I believe many have that too.

It is just this constant surge of disappointment when you slowly uncover the truth and fact about having a real relationship. i.e you realize that you were not the only one in your partners life, there were many before you, the feeling sucks knowing that you are not what Walt Disney portrays as "the one and only". Just the other day, I saw pictures of that. I was completely crushed. Not because I am jealous or anything. But the fact that you realize the painful truth that this is not just all about you. This is not all a perfect fairy tale. I have spinned a web of image where I am his one and only, only to realize that I was not the only one that has felt this way before. Uncovering the truth that has always been at the back of my mind, that I may just be reenacting what someone else did to, for and with him. That relationship isn't as exclusive or special as what I had always thought it was.

It is a sad truth that I believe many people has to face, that you may not be the first, the one and the only one. My manager once told me " at you age it seems as if love is everything, but 10 years down the road, you would realize that it is not, life goes on.." well, when I heard that, my initial reactions was, how pessimistic! But I slowly realize what he meant was that do not go crazy believing that love is all magical, for it is just a construct of Hollywood. The best way to get the true taste of it is to look at married couple around us, our parents etc.

You don't get surprises everyday, you don't get all lovey-dovey till death till we part kind of attitude. People get together merely because they feel that the other half would be there no matter what, they get together for the practical idea of living, they get together for the financial aspect of it, and as form of security so they would not die alone. Do not make the mistake of digging too much into the romance bullshit, or you would be really disappointed.